Friday, January 6, 2012

Jersey Shore Season 5 Premiere Recap: Mike Wants to Put Snooki on Blast and Vinny Has Had Enough of the Shore House

And they're back!
The Jersey Shore crew is all back in Seaside Heights as season 5 picks right up from the last time we saw them leaving Italy last season. But how long will they last together as a group? As previously posted, they had no break, no time to go home and went straight into filming this season.


And the one thing everybody wants to know: is Vinny really leaving his roomies and possibly the show for good?


The roomies go out to a bar and they get a surprise there from all their family and friends who welcomed them back to Jersey. And, this sets off Vinny getting a case of homesickness. He cries and is in shock when he see's his Mom and the ever so funny, Uncle Nino. 


Jionni is back, despite him and Snooki's arguments and despite the fact that he knows she slept with Vinny in Italy. Snooki got away with that one. 


When Jionni found out about Snooki and Vinny's hookup last season, he said Vinny was dead. But, he didn't say anything when Vinny was around this time. 


Mike is still trying to expose Snooki for supposedly hooking up with him. And this time he has his boy "The Unit," along with Rider...two of the people who witnessed Mike and Snooki hooking up that night. 


If I had any doubts before, whether if Mike was lying or not, I don't anymore. Snooki was so uncomfortable around The Unit, knowing she could be exposed at any moment. 



Even Ronnie noticed Snooki's guilty conscience kicking in. Snooki got angry at The Unit and he laughed at her all night, ready to spill out the information while Mike was consoling Snooki to calm her down, then Jionni walks over who is sooooo naive to the drama happening around him.


"Everybody knows the story but it hasn't been confirmed. Now the witnesses are here, so it's only a matter of time before the truth comes out," Mike said.



After hanging at the bar, the roomies head back to the house with extra guests; Jionni, The Unit and Rider who sleep over. Snooki keeps Jionni away from everyone and they go off to themselves and stay in Snooki's room.


"This is hurricane Situation and it's headed straight to Snooki island," Mike said. "Snooki knows what's going on so she eliminates Jionni from the equation...she hid the whole night."


Eww, pickle juice! Really Snooki?
Jionni is going to feel so dumb when he looks back later and watches these episodes for himself. The next morning, Snooki apologizes to The Unit, only because she's scared of the information he's holding in.


"I'm so surprise she apologized and that was a good move by her. If we do something now it's going to make us look bad...but we got the whole summer. So...we'll see what happens," Mike says with excitement.


The crew took the same exact rooms they had in season 3, so that puts Mike, Ronnie and Sammi all back together again in the same room. 


Ronnie and Sammi seem to be on good terms for now and Sammi makes it clear to Mike this time, not to get involved in anybody's relationship and don't cause problems. 


"... if he does get involved in my relationship I will be forced to put his bed on the porch." Ronnie said.


Rider, who already slept with Vinny and The Unit, kisses Pauly and a jealous Deena watches on. There is an awkward silence when creepster Deena follows Pauly and Rider to Pauly's bed and she watches them laying there. Deena is still craving some Pauly D but she leaves when she realizes she's not wanted. 


Creep status: Deena stalks Pauly and Rider
Pauly thinks about Rider and how she smashed his homeboys, but Pauly doesn't want to be rude and he hooks up with Rider anyway.


"Everybody ride her, just like a bus route," Vinny says about Rider the next morning. "Rider is f*cking everybody in the house, if she f*cked Ronnie it's like Guido bingo."


"I don't like sloppy 23rd's," Ronnie jokingly said. Lol!


The crew is also "working" again, right back at the T-shirt shop. Same boss, same rooms, same job, same clubs, back to GTL, nothing has changed. But at the end of the show, Vinny is in his funk again and his feelings are starting to change.


The boys try and cheer him up by taking him to a club but that doesn't help because "grenades" are all around. 


Later on, Vinny still isn't feeling right. He has trouble going to sleep and then tells Ronnie and Pauly he can't function in the house and he starts to lose it a little. His boys don't know what else to do to make him stay. 


"I've got nothing left to give man...I wanna go home," Vinny tells them.



Ronnie thinks Vinny needs to man up a little and I agree.Vinny's mom does everything for him; cooks and washes his clothes, no wonder why he misses home. 


Maybe Vinny comes back and the rest of the season is edited to make it seem like he left for good because in next weeks episode we see him leaving the house. 


But, rumor has it...Vinny does return to the shore house! If I was getting paid six figures to be on TV, I would just suck it up and get over it.

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