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Dating in the Digital Age, Texting Rules and Flirting


Ahh, the beginning stages of a relationship; everything is fresh and happy. But, to get to the relationship you have to catch the person first.

So, I was catching up on Tough Love: Miami episodes recently and thought this was interesting: the host, Steve, gave the female contestants a texting exercise to draw out some texting NO NO's while dating or just meeting someone.

Between Facebook, Google, online dating apps and texting there are so many ways to find out information about people you don't know. Your so called private information can go viral quickly. But does the use of technology make it easier to flirt and get to know someone?

Steve said for many women texting is a habit that can not only get out of control but can turn a man off in no time and women need to know how to keep it fun.

Rules to Texting a Date:
  • Don't overthink a text, a guy is not overthinking a text as much as women do, just be appropriate.
  • What is up with all the smiley faces, the L-O-L's, winks, the L-M-A-O's and all the exclamation points? Guys don't have acronym dictionaries and a lot of people don't know what these terms are.
"Men hate this sh*t, when you're communicating with a man over text message, email or any othjer type of e-communication use words and grammar," Steve said to the ladies. 
  • Drinking and texting is a NO NO! If you got something to say, say it sober. The last impresson you want to make on a guy is a sloppy one. Steve calls this a cardinal sin!
  • Don't drunk text!
  • Don't text a bunch of questions, it isn't an interview
  • If the guy doesn't respond right away don't keep texting, you look like a crazy woman. Give the man time to respond. If you text back to back to back, the guy won't be able to keep up with the questions, he might respond to old ones and it won't make sense of what he's writing anymore. Not everybody is glued to their phones.
"Never, ever, ever under any circumstances send three text messages before you've gotten a response. When that guy gets that third text message, it doesn't even matter if he likes you, now all of a sudden he's concerned, now he's got a basket case on his hands," Steve advises.

Examples of what guys use text messages for:

"I'm 15 minutes late" OR "I'm looking for a parking spot right now, I'm right out front."

Save text messages for logistics because messages can easily be construed.

Using Body Language to Convey Feelings:

The non-verbal cues to flirt effectively...

Sometimes no communication can turn out to be better than bad communication.
But when flirting, it's good to let a guy know you like him. It's not just about what you say, it's how you say it and show it.

Men are visual creatures so it is a lot more about showing than telling for guys.

Steve said, 93% of all communication is non-verbal. So turn on the body language for a guy to notice you. Have the visual cues on point to not send the wrong signals.

Steve gave the women a tip and said guys love to hear their own name, and that's not just in the bedroom but perhaps just including it in your sentences when holding a conversation with them.

Remember your facial expressions, this is the most obvious sign that men see. If you have the confused look on your face but you're saying you understand what he's talking about, your words and actions come off as two diffrent things and this will confuse the man.

Don't forget to smile! Send off a compliment, laugh, give strong eye contact, maybe touch his shoulder and even end the date with a kiss on the cheek. 

Whispering in someones ear during the date is also a good flirting technique.

Also, mind your manners. When going out on a date to a restaurant, don't talk with your mouth full.

"Guys want to be showered with attention, not chunks of beef," Steve said.



Things Will Haunt You on the Web:
No secrets...

Texting isn't the only thing that can influence dating. Nowadays people will most likely look you up online and just Google away. What you post online matters in order to stay free from online embarrasements.

If you post sexy, half naked pictures and post statuses about sex all the time, don't be shocked when your guy thinks you're a jump off. He's just going by what you post about yourself and will look at you as a sex object.

You can be your own worst enemy, remember that.
I'll keep you up on more Tough Love: Miami dating techniques as they come along.