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La La Diaries: Thee Worst Foreplay, EVER... He Scratched My HooHaa!

*** Entry #2 ***

I've experienced the absolute worst foreplay.

This dude scratched my pussy walls... yes, the worst fingering, ever! How does one not know how to finger? That is some high school, second base type ish, and this grown ass man didn't know what the hell he was doing!

So here's the story...

Two of my ex friends and I head over to this dude's apartment... I'ma call him "Mistake" because I never should have messed with him in the first place... I was just being nice.

So anyways, my two ex friends and I are at Mistake's place, just chillin'. Ex friend #1 was talking to Mistake's boy and ex friend #2 was kind of like the fifth wheel, but no one cared. 

Mind you, Mistake and I met because another homeboy of his hooked me up with a free cell phone... just to give you a little back story. 

We're at his lil' apartment and Mistake leads me to his room. He doesn't even have an actual bed, there's a mattress on the floor. Oh great! I should've walked out the room right there and then... but, I stayed. 

So, we get to kissing and whatnot. I lay down on his lil' floor bed and he rubs my titties and his fingers start heading down south. 

I wasn't too into Mistake because I actually didn't find him attractive. He just was't my type, but I dealt with him because he was nice, I was drinking and what else was there to do. I guess one would call this pity sex? But, we never got to the actual sex part... Umm, pity foreplay?... 

I shouldn't have been there, period. 

Anyways, once my jeans came down and he slid his hand down there, I'm just thinking, "whatever, let's get this foreplay started."

His fingers enter me and it was the worst fingering action, ever! No type of rhythm... he seemed too excited like he's never been around a pussy before... and... wait... are his nails even cut!?! This man is scratching the inside of my damn coochie!!! What the f....

Oh helllllll nah, this finger game is a wrap! 

Now, us women just know who we plan on giving the pussy to and I already knew when we first got to Mistake's lil' apartment that he wasn't sticking that D in me... Too bad he didn't know that. Mistake actually thought he was about to go all the way. 


Dude stands up thinking he just did something and then proceeds to take his shirt off... hold up... wait... do I see a belly!? It wasn't that noticeable with his clothes on. 

Oh gosh, I hope I'm not making the "eww" face, that's not nice.  

I'll admit, I'm a tad bit shallow. I don't do the whole male gut thing. Now, I'm not the skinniest chick on the block, but absolutely NO belly... that's where I draw the line.

- Ya face ain't that cute.

- Ya can't even finger me right. (Do I need to go to the doc and get checked?)

- Plus, ya got a belly... that's strike three, dammit.

At this point I'm highly disappointed. I pull my panties up, pull my jeans up, stand up, fix my damn shirt, and I managed to skedaddle out of his lil' room. I played it off without hurting his feelings.... at least I don't think I hurt his feelings. 

This story only gets better though.

I told my friends about the bad foreplay and those asses thought it was sooo funny. 

And, that wasn't the only time me and my two ex friends went over to Mistake's apartment. (Yes, I actually managed to face the "coochie scratcher" again!)

Lawd, help me. 

But, this time, it wasn't just the five of us. Another friend of his comes over... making that three of us and three of them. 

You would think the third dude would be for my fifth wheel ex friend, right? 


This new guy who just walked in was attractive and more so my type. He wasn't her type anyway. 

So yeah, I bagged that. What can I say... I'm greedy and I want what I want when I want it. 

How did me and this new dude whom I just met hook up? And, will his boy, Mistake a.k.a "the coochie scratcher," be jealous?

I'll leave that story for a future diary entry...

Make sure you check back in, this story only gets better!

Read my first diary entry here: He Ate My Box So I Cancelled My Gym Membership To Avoid Seeing Him

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