Saturday, March 5, 2016

15 Requirements To Be My Best Friend: Be A Wine Champion, Support My Ho'ish Activities, Must Be A Professional Lurker...


To Be My BFF:

#1 Must be a wine champion. 

#2 Must keep it real. (let me know if my outfit ain't shit or when my food baby is outta control ... but don't judge my sometime ho'ish activities ... Matter of fact, cheer me on and be fun as well. NO cornballs!)

#3 Must be available at random hours late at night. 

#4 Must be adept at using social media... investigative skills gotta be ON FLEEK. ๐Ÿ‘€

#5 Gotta be a ride or die chick: if I hate this bum bish, you hate her too... if I key his car, you're keying it too. 

#6 Must love tacos. (we gaining these calories together, bih!)

#7 Must listen to my constant sex/relationship talk & stories and contribute to the convo. (as stated in point #2, feel free to partake in ho'ish activities from time to time) 

#8 Must have a sense of humor, dammit. (required!)

#9 Watches ratchet reality TV. (this is a plus!)

#10 Loves coffee. (another huge plus!

#11 Must know when to STFU and be an effective listener.

#12 Must be smart (knows how to spell) ... A classy chick that can also drop down and get ya eagle on while turning into an insta stripper when "Back That Azz Up" comes on. (major key!

#13 Gotta be cute (not hotter than me though, ha, I'm kidding) so we can go out and catch these crazy dudes. 

#14 Must be able to memorize and talk with different code words while we're out. 

#15 Gotta be a GOALdigger! 

Okay, that's all. 

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