Tuesday, January 26, 2016

La La Diaries: My Fling Tells Me He Loves Me, But I Was Just Trying To F*ck



*** Entry #6 ***

Part 2: Our Fling Continues, He Catches Feelings 


DJ and I continued fucking for the next five to six months after initially meeting on Facebook. 

As I previously mentioned in Part 1, my ex friend knew DJ from her old town. 

Yes, I had a boyfriend, but it was so much fun being around DJ... I didn't love him, we were just chilling. The fun I had with him and the way I felt while being in his presence was something I was missing from my boyfriend. 

Even my two ex friends were digging DJ and noticed how happy I was with this dude. But, in the back of my mind, I knew him and I could never be. I was in no position to just dump my boyfriend, the guy I love, over a guy I just met. 

They say if you really love your significant other, if you're really IN love with them, then you won't cheat, you won't fall for someone else. 

Well, I called bullshit. 

Although my ex friends thought I should just take a chance and be with DJ, I had to remind them, sometimes the grass is not greener on the other side. And, I had absolutely no intention of finding out how green that grass could possibly be.

After about a month of talking and fucking DJ, he fell for me and he fell HARD. His feelings started changing and this was the beginning of what would lead up to a huge problem.

Our sex was so amazing and we did it everywhere, but never in a bed. Our first encounter, the toilet seat sex (mentioned in the last entry) was so HOT and it only got better. Everytime I had sex with DJ, there was just this passion between us, this connection. But, for me, it was just during the sex and then it was over. For him, it became much more. 

I was scared of getting dickmatized ... ya know, when a chick gets the D and becomes sprung. So, I kept telling myself: don't fall for this guy, don't fall for his tricks, he's just feeling you because of your pussy and that's all.  

DJ ate my box all the time, said he loved the taste of my pussy. I never even sucked his dick. I thought about it, but never did it. Sometimes he would eat me out and that was it, no intercourse. 

We fucked in my car multiple times... the back seat, the front seat, and even outside of the car in the street as I bent over the trunk in doggy style position ... my two ex friends were actually in the car when this one happened...

So, we all went out to chill in his town one night and we stopped at the park. Him and I got out the car and we walked around the park while my friends stayed in the car. 

DJ held my hand, he always found some way to touch me. He opened up more about his previous jobs and where he used to live. He used to work in the radio industry as a DJ in another state, which I thought was so cool because that's the industry I was in at the time as a freelance news reporter. He asked about my writing and seemed very interested in my journalism work. 

Well, isn't this refreshing. 

DJ also talked about his plans to make me his ... oh boy. I should of stopped seeing him this night when I heard about his "plans," but I didn't ...  I couldn't stop seeing this man. I really liked the attention he gave me and how persistent he seemed to "make me his" or whatever you wanna call it. 

We walked back to my car, stood behind it and started kissing and whatnot. Next thing you know, I turn around to face the trunk, he slides my pants down and slides in me. 

I'm not sure when my two ex friends started being nosy from the back seat, but I overhear one of them say:

"She's having sex!"

"No, she's not."

"Bitch, yes she is! Look at her face!"

I'm not even sure what my face looked like, I didn't care. At that moment, I was on another planet and nothing else matter. This man felt good! 

After our quickie, we hopped back in the car ... my girls talked shit, of course, then we drove back to his place to drop him off home. 

Every time I went to see DJ, I brought my girls along and we turned it into a group outing. He didn't mind, he really liked my friends. 

This was also refreshing. 

My boyfriend and my two ex friends used to be cool with each other but eventually fell out. He started saying they were bad influences. 

I guess I should've listened then. 

DJ also had a cousin for one of my girls and they became briefly involved.

One night, I just brought the one friend with me and we went on this sort of double "date" to go bowling with the cousins. Afterwards, we went back to DJ's cousin place, he had his own apartment. 

Now we're talking!

The four of us got there, we drank, we talked shit and we chilled. DJ and I went into the kitchen to be alone. He sits on a chair at the table and tells me to sit on his lap.

I tell him, "you know something is gonna go down in this kitchen. You're about to be in trouble!"

Every time I sit on his lap, we end up fucking. So yeah, I rode him in the kitchen chair ... then, in walks my friend and his cousin.

Oh no, not again!

My friend said, "why am I always seeing you have sex!?!" (She was the one who hid in the damn shower when I had that quickie with "New Dude" in Entry #3)

Smh. 

Another one of our wild sex adventures happened in someone's empty house. DJ and I were walking around the block one night and he said he knew a place where no one was living at at the moment, so we went to go check it out. 

(Suspect! ... now that I think about it.) 

The doors were open, we walked right in, stayed standing up, pants down, I bent over with my hands flat on the floor and he fucked me right there on the spot. 

DJ would call me his life size barbie doll. According to him, I was the perfect size - height and weight - to lift up and when I bent over, my ass landed perfectly on his dick with each pump he gave me. 

About two months into us having crazy sex, my birthday comes around. DJ, his cousin and my two ex friends all decided to take me out clubbing to this foam party.

I was feeling myself that night and I had the time of my life. The club was poppin,' we were in VIP and DJ couldn't keep his hands off me. At one point, he lifted me up while we were dancing and I wrapped my legs around him, and we started kissing. 

"Happy birthday, baby," he says.

It's like we were in our own little world and no one else was around.

"I want to fuck you right here on the dance floor," he says to me in my ear. 

Oh my goodness! That sounds so hot!

... Then I remember I'm wearing a very short glitter skirt ... oh shit, my ass is probably hanging out.

"Put me down!," I yell at him.

Yeah, that night was a blast. No, we didn't fuck in the club. But, I'm sure we would have if we were able to get away with it. 

I can't even remember how I managed to get that club night pass my boyfriend or what lies I told him... my boyfriend who I hung out with the very next day... my boyfriend who I had sex with the very next night. Oh gosh, I'm a slut. Am I? I know I'm a bad person though. At least I didn't have sex with DJ that night since we were busy clubbing. I would've felt more like a skank having back-to-back sex with two different dudes. 

One problem that eventually bit me in the ass is that I would make up a lie which sounded believable at the time but then I would forget the lie I told. My boyfriend had a very good memory and he never forgot anything. All of my lies eventually came crashing down.

Fast forward about two more months ... more sex with DJ, more hanging out with DJ and more of getting to know one another.

DJ already professed his love for me and asked me multiple times to be his girlfriend. At one point, he even changed his Facebook status to "In A Relationship" so other chicks could "hop off his dick," so he said.

Was DJ fucking other chicks? I would never know. I never put it past him though. He was very good looking, had a big dick and who was I to stop him, I wasn't his girlfriend. I'm not even gonna lie though, I got a little jealous wondering if he was. But, I never told him that and I played it cool.

One time, before I dropped him home, we sat in the car and talked and fucked. He asked if he could keep my panties. I never had a guy ask that before. 

"These are my good, Victoria's Secret undies! Do you know how much these panties cost!?," I said to him.

He ended up having his way and keeping my undies. Kinda weird, but umm, okay.

DJ would also take a bunch of photos of me and take selfies of us. He loved showing me off and would post our pictures on his Facebook page. Some of his friends and a couple of his family members commented and said I was pretty and that we look good together. 

I even had my birthday photos of all of us posted on my Facebook (my boyfriend was not my friend on Facebook, I didn't have his friends or any of his family on my page either). 

My Facebook status was and still is blank. I never bothered much with the 'About Us' page especially with filling out that relationship section. People that knew me, knew my relationship with my boyfriend, why do I have to fill it out? 

I remember getting a couple of comments and inbox messages from people asking: who is that new guy with his arm all around you? He's cute, but what happened to so and so? Did you guys split up!? 

Oh gosh! So many questions!

I eventually deleted the birthday pictures and thought what the fuck am I doing? Am I crazy!?

Another mistake I made was telling DJ where I used to work. One day, out of the blue, I'm at the studio and the receptionist calls and says I have a young man at the door asking for me.

I didn't have an in-person interview lined up, I didn't order anything and it can't be my boyfriend, because he would never just pop up, plus he's at work. Who the hell....

DJ!?!

I step outside to talk to him. He said he was just in the neighborhood and figured he would stop by. 

Just in the neighborhood, really? Sureee. 

DJ brought me a medium French Vanilla Dunkin Donuts coffee made just the way I like it. He remembered how I liked my coffee, aww...

But, this is my job and he can't just come by unannounced... which is what I told him.

He apologized and then I felt bad. Like no, don't apologize ... ughh, stop being so nice, I was thinking. 

I appreciated the coffee and I thanked him. I told him I would call him later, I had to get back to work.

DJ and I would always talk on the phone ... something my boyfriend and I stopped doing. It's like I was missing what I used to have and I found it all over again, but with a different man.

I knew I could never love DJ because my heart wasn't there. Could it get there? Could I ever see myself with this man in the long run? 

I can't even think about these type of things right now. 

The day I told DJ I can't do this anymore, I have a boyfriend and we have to stop seeing each other is the day he told me I can have my cake and eat it too. He tells me again that he loves me. He knows I have a boyfriend and he accepts that, he just wants to be with me. 

What kind of shit!?

"Why are you doing this to me?," I straight up ask him.

DJ knew what it was from the jump. I feel like the guy in this situation! I just don't understand why he's catching feelings!

C'mon! The guy is NOT supposed to catch feelings! That's not how this works. Well, so I thought. 

But, I did have my cake and I did eat it too. 

Do I feel like I strung DJ along? Yes. There was no hope for us but I didn't stop him from loving me and showing me how much he cares. That's my bad. 

DJ also told me he wanted to take me out on an official date... no friends, no cousin, just him and I. Movies, a nice, fancy restaurant, everything.

I told him I would think about it. But, we never did go on that date. 

I started seeing DJ less after he demanded to come to my college graduation. This was the last straw. 

Is this guy fucking crazy!? MY GRADUATION ... where my family AND my boyfriend will be?

So how would I introduce him... like, "ohh, hey mom and dad, this is my friend who I've been fucking for the last five months..." 

Did he expect to actually sit next to my family and my boyfriend? Like, really?

DJ was bugging!

... Make sure to come back to read the final chapter about DJ to see how it all falls down in Part 3: 'The End Of Our Fling: He Wants My Baby, Tries To Trap Me'

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